Holly Shit my first marathon is in 41 days!
Ok, freakout's over. Now back to sanity.
Yesterday was the 4th Sunday in a row where my goal was to run 18 miles and it didn't happen.
1) It was on my calendar, but I was sick, so I didn't even attempt to run.
2) I made it 16 miles and stopped. I hit the wall mentally and it won.
3) Snow everywhere so I tried it on a treadmill. Ended up pulling my hammy.
4) Made it out to the trail, but it was ice. Took it as a sign my hammy needed more rest.
I'm starting to feel about my 18 mile barrier like many felt about the 4 minute mile before the Rodge broke it in 1954, impossible. Not that I truly belive it, but it's feeling like something doesn't want me to make it.
I was reading about mental barriers with marathons and one of them is preparedness. Apparently it seems most runners, if asked at the starting line, would say they're not prepared enough. What really does that mean? Rarely does a training program go 100% as planned. Minor setbacks abound, but when should you draw the line and except your defeat?
I don't feel I'm there. I've made it 16 miles twice. Both times were on a lonely, flat, straight course with nothing but the cold and me. The marathon will be full of people cheering, many other runners, and hopefully in better weather. I can do it. I have five more long runs before the race to prepare. That's four weekends to hit my max length. I'll do it, and I'll do it with gusto.... or my stoic version of it!
But will I look like this when I finish?